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MY OVERWEIGHT BRAIN

June 7, 2013
Human Brain

Human Brain

I have always been pretty fascinated about the way people think. One of the categories that has always held my interest has been connected to weight. As a kid, I was okay. But when I began to reach adolescence, I came out of a very small and shielded private school into our town’s public high school with a graduating class hundreds of times larger than my eighth grade graduating class. My 14-year-old body was changing. My face was beginning to experience the required acne break outs. My hair was way too coarse and curly for the current baby fine, straight trends. And perhaps the worst blow of all, my younger sister had just managed to lose weight and look absolutely drop-dead gorgeous.

As I share all these contributing factors, it actually seems logical that I began to get down on myself and to feel insecure. But at the time, I just attributed these feelings as additional proof that there was something very wrong with me. I obviously was defective in some way and in my brain, this translated into feeling less than. The more I allowed this runaway train of negativity to impact my inner thoughts, the worse I felt about myself and my future. And the worse I felt about myself and my future, the further away I stayed from any social activities and my friends. At the risk of sounding like I’m repeating myself, the more legislative I became, the worse I felt about myself and the more reason I now had to make sure I stayed to myself, out of everybody’s way. So when my friends would call and ask me to go places with them, I would politely decline their invitations, telling myself they didn’t really want me to hang out with them anyway; they were just calling me out of obligation.

Fritos

Fritos

I found tremendous comfort in, you guessed it, food. Food became my very best friend because of so many reasons. First of all, food didn’t care how I looked. My bag of corn chips didn’t mind if I was getting zits on my face. (Actually, the grease in the corn chips most likely was the cause of the zits on my face but I didn’t see it that way back then.) Those second helping of macaroni and cheese didn’t care that my jeans were getting too tight to zipper. (Actually, those second helpings of macaroni and cheese were most likely the cause of my jeans getting too tight to zipper, but I didn’t see it that way back then.) Another wonderful thing about food was that it was always available; morning, noon or night. There was always some delicious-tasking treat in the refrigerator or freezer. And now that my younger sister was eating less and looking more wonderful in all her new clothes, heck, that just meant there was more food leftover for me.

That summer when my sister lost all her weight and was looking like a model in one of those glossy teen magazines, I gained a whopping 22 pounds and weighed the most I had ever weighed the first day I entered the halls of high school. And, for some very twisted reason, the sky was the limit from that point forward.

Weight Loss

Weight Loss

Two weeks ago, I am not going to say exactly how many years it has been, but suffice it to say that I celebrated the year the New York Mets won at least one of their world series banners; I got on the scale in my bedroom and I weighed two pounds less than I did the day I began my freshman year in high school!

It has been one heck of a ride; diets too many to name here, just as many inactive memberships in gyms; tricks and gadgets galore. But if you asked me what finally clicked for me; I’d have to say somehow I have managed to get my overweight brain to rewire itself. Food is something I have to have, not something that is considered a treat or a reward any longer. Every meal doesn’t have to be the perfect meal; perfect in the sense that I have to absolutely love everything so much that I want more and more of it.

Although I had to back it up with constant action, I suppose the biggest part of the change is that I just made up my overweight brain to stop being overweight. I convinced my brain not be overweight anymore and my body, once again, followed.

ABOUT ME

I’m a licensed clinical social worker and have worked extensively as a counselor with children, adolescents, couples and families. I combine professional experience in the mental health field along with my love of writing to provide insight into real-life experiences and relationships. I hope my down-to-earth approach to living a happier, more meaningful life is easy to understand and just as easy to start implementing right away for positive results!

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