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June 10, 2013

Man on Laptop Computer

Man on Laptop Computer

I’m of the age to truly appreciate the workings of on-line dating and on-line relationships. That means first of all, that I’m over 20 and more than likely (although there are a few days here and there when I don’t feel like it) less than 70.

Having said that; online relationships have been in the news lately because new studies are proving that relationships that form and develop online, seem to have a better rate of ‘staying power’ than more conventional relationships. Fewer marriages that occur from online relationships are ending in divorce.

While some people may be surprised with these findings, I am not. Something quite unique and intense occurs between people who ‘meet’ each other online, if they are serious about and open to the experience.

Let’s start with the obvious. The major component that is missing in an online ‘meeting’ is the sense of sight. You meet the other person without seeing them – thus you have to rely more on your other senses, including your deeper, more intuitive senses. This is clearly a good thing. Without the diversions of sight attraction, in order for two people to like each other, they have to be attracted in other, less superficial ways. How can less-superficial be anything BUT good?

Couple Kissing at Waterfall

Couple Kissing at Waterfall

The level of conversation is much less superficial and usually exposes a part of the person that may not normally come through until much further into the relationship, if even at all. It is easier to let your guard down when you aren’t being watched or being distracted by having to do your own watching of others. If the people involved are honest and genuine, this can be an absolutely wonderful beginning to a very rewarding relationship. And these studies are starting to show that this is the case.

Consider some of the friendships you may have made with people online (it doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic in nature or even involve a person of the opposite sex.) Something very intense occurs early in online relationships. It is as if you don’t have to keep up any unnecessary defenses (or at least fewer of them) and you can get on with the connecting portion of the meeting much easier and much sooner. When this occurs, the relationship begins on a much deeper level than in conventional meetings and in many cases, only gets better from there.

There is an opportunity to be more genuine, although many people take advantage of the situation and represent themselves in very phony and false ways. But, for those who are genuine and sincere in the way they represent themselves to another person online, the level of intimacy and depth is a very welcome experience and one that can start couples off on a long road to a happy relationship; and one that is coming more highly recommended with the new findings and outcomes from the longer-term studies done with online couples.


I’m a licensed clinical social worker and have worked extensively as a counselor with children, adolescents, couples and families. I combine professional experience in the mental health field along with my love of writing to provide insight into real-life experiences and relationships. I hope my down-to-earth approach to living a happier, more meaningful life is easy to understand and just as easy to start implementing right away for positive results!

  1. I have been in an online relationship for 3 and a half years and we have not yet met. It is a full and enriching relationship, one of the best I’ve every experienced. Because of the power of communication we have now, all aspects of a relationship can be shared now.:)

  2. Thanks….We had a rough patch at the end of 2012, and there is a lingering issue in terms of intimacy…but despite that it is a wonderful relationship:)

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