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SELF-CONFIDENCE 101 – Into Action

June 30, 2013


If you’ve been following this self-confidence building series, we are rounding second and starting to head for home plate. By now, self-confidence is increasing because we’ve been building on a lot of little and accomplishable successes. So now what?

Now is the time to dig deep. We’ve been building skills and seeing what we are capable of achieving. We need to perform a very honest self-inspection with how things are going for us. This is crucial because before we move forward full-steam ahead, we want to review our progress honestly and as objectively as possible.

Here are the options we will be facing about our performance so far:

* If we achieved the small goals very easily, then we know for certain that we need to make the next goal more challenging.
* Alternately, if the goal took much longer than we thought it would to achieve, maybe the next goal need to be a bit easier in order to avoid frustration and stress.
* It is very possible that we learned something from the experience that might lead us to change some of the other goals we have already set. We should not be afraid to tweak our goals so that they are more realistic and achievable.
* And there are times when we have been able to successfully achieve the goals we set, but when we take an honest look at our performance, we realize that we are not as skilled in the process as we would like to be. It may be necessary for us to set a goal to improve our skill in this area before we move forward.

Believe in You

Believe In You

The key here is to know ourselves well and to keep things balanced and grounded. It is very important to raise the bar, but not to increase it too much and get over-confident and push too hard. This is where many people set themselves up by losing patience with the process and not giving enough time to grow incrementally. The tendency is to rush and leap ahead. This causes frustration and stress – we want to avoid setting ourselves up.

The great news about goal setting is that it is a learned skilled, something we can practice and get better at over time if we remain committed to it. This skill is one of the most, if not the most significant skill we need to successfully improve our self-confidence.

Here are some links to sites on the web that provide great information on goal setting:
Top Achievement
Persistence Unlimited

Remind yourself that you’ve made the choice to believe in yourself and that there is nothing you need to complete or rush through. It is also a wonderful idea to start surrounding yourself with other people who are positive and confident, especially those that you relate to and have abilities and skills similar to your own. The more you keep yourself close to success, even if it is the success of others, the more likely you are to believe that you can do it too.

NOTE: I am looking for real-life accounts of people who have begun to implement some of the techniques described in this series. Please let me hear from you and how you are finding the information provided impacts your sense of confidence. Email me your experience at and who knows, you may be featured as a follow-up on my blog and provide inspiration to help others.


I’m a licensed clinical social worker and have worked extensively as a counselor with children, adolescents, couples and families. I combine professional experience in the mental health field along with my love of writing to provide insight into real-life experiences and relationships. I hope my down-to-earth approach to living a happier, more meaningful life is easy to understand and just as easy to start implementing right away for positive results!

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  1. Goal Based Social Network | rebeccagipson

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