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Lessons on Less Than

April 15, 2016

The Letter L

I’m not a trusting sort by nature, although there are often times when I would like to be able to say I am somewhat more than I am. It is one of my issues that I’ve become more and more aware of because it gets in my way of having a happier and more fulfilling life.

I still find myself analyzing and delving deeply into my reasons for acting in ways that are destructive to myself and hurtful to others; and I’ve come head to head with a very intense feeling of “less than” within me.

Less than what, exactly, I am not sure…maybe because it is a sense of being less than pretty much, everything. Less than perfect seems ridiculous, especially when I’ve come to accept that there is no such thing as perfect…at least, none that I’ve encountered.

Yet, I find I still expect so much more of myself…of others…and when these expectations are not met, when they fall short…that translates into being less than…
Less than what I expect – that pretty much answers the “what” question I pose.

Less than sign

So, I tell myself, this entire less than issue ties into expectations…unrealistic, over-stated, quite childlike…wanting things to go the way I want them to go…the way I imagine they should be…my own self-will and ego taking full, center stage, in attempts to direct my world, my life, and all the people and events
in it (including myself) to be what I want, do things my way, exist just for me.

I’m reminded of when Goldilocks comes to the home of the 3 bears and has to sift through all three bowls of porridge, three chairs and three beds, eliminating the ones that are ‘less-than’ what she is looking for before she finds the one that appeals to her. But once she does, they don’t last. She ends up eating all the porridge, rocking in the chair until she breaks it and falling asleep in the comfy bed until she wakes to find the bears return and she flees for her very life.

Goldilocks and the 3 Bears

There may be a lesson here for me too. Maybe, I tell myself, less than ought to be good enough.

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